lost.....

i have totally lost.....i have lost the aim of my life.... my target.....i have totally no motivation for study now......i wish i could take a rest for 1 or 2 month. escape from everyone. i can't concentrate on my study. i duno wad is the problem coming to me.....
Im lost in someway, i had lost myself....
where am i now?
who am i now?
wad i have done recently doesn't like me...
my life is out of control..... my emotion is getting worst...
people said im smart, im a thinker, i can help myself out...
but told me, after i been through so many thing, i keep helping myself.
but people juz keep pushing me down whenever i climb up.
where is the light??
where is the end of all this problem.
there are new problem everyday, the old probelm havent been solve the new is come,
in the end, all mess up. like a snow ball.
keep getting bigger and bigger.
i don't liek the way i behave now,
i know i should study hard to achieve my dream.
to help epople.
but now i think, i need help than others.
the world is dark..... there is no way out....
scream,
there is no people would heard it.
there is no one understanding me.
people try to help, but they juz duno the way.
im LOST................
some one help me out????

tired...

i think i gonna crazy this 2 week.
i goin clubbing continuously for 3 day,
different place, dance n drink like hell....
summore 7 am than only got home...
crazy life...
thursday zouk,
friday space,
saturday centro...
summore i dance on the bar....
hahhaaha......
hauz, tired....
i goin out for fun, but im not really getting fun.
problem is still there,
try to have another relationship,
but i juz dun hav feeling.
my heart is die from the moment he din pick up my call...
frends asking em why i change my blog to english?
i said i juz wan to let him see,
let him know wad im feeling....
they just shake thier head,
they dun understand......
i trying so hard to jump out of this situation,
try to forget bout him,
try to make my life better,
but i juz coudn't.
just now i taking taxi back home,
than i left my handphone in the car.
how careless am i???
luckily got people pick it, than return to me.
im confuse this afternoon when i receive ur sms.
i dun even believe my eyes when i look at the message.
the sender show his name.
god!!! finally he find me.
he told me to find him at his college,
i wondering how i go to,
but i hav decided, i must settle all the thing.
i take taxi. but later he said i should meet him after 10pm...
my frend juz told me,
forget bout him, he doesn't really care bout u,
if not he won't ask u to come outside alone in the night...
i duno....but i juz hope to see him...

hurt,...

i really what is going on here? what is happen between us?
again, u din reply my sms, din pick up my call.
i just need a explanation from you, is that so hard?
i not wanted your care, or take responsible on me,
but please,
the guy i know firstly is not like that.
i know every people will change,
but atlease, dun lost ur responsibility.

u know how suffer is waiting?
maybe u duno...thats y... u just left me like that...
although now u love another girl
or u can told me u never ever love me,
but atlease is an explanation,
is an answer to me.
release me ok?
set me free?
i know u r not the one who lock me,
i lock myself to u.
but, as a frend or as a girl that u have sex before or as wadever,
please help me out of this situation k?
i really dun like myself keep thinking of u.

i doesn't need u to start a relationship with me or take responsible on what u had done,
i juz need ur explanation.
thats all. k.
i hope u will help me....
run out of this situation.