....

i think my life is getting better.
haha, for 2 week the problem keep on come to me,
let me breathless. but now i learn to take it easy.
because the question had no answer,
so why am i so desperate to find the answer?
juz let it be, the answer will appear in the right time.
i jzu need to be passion and wait.
now i wonder how r u?
the car incident is really bad, hope that u r fine.
worried....
sometime when i thinking of u i wonder did u ever think of me even for a second?
for 1 week since that day u told me u had a car incident u never contact me.
not even a message.
should i keep waiting for u?
i keep asking myself this same question.
im juz afraid that for the time i have spend on u,
will not have a good answer.
but now i decided,
WAIT.
wait n see.
i should believe myself,
i should believe love.
i hope that wad i had done, will never regret me.
hope that u didn't betray me,
hope that u didn't forget bout me.
i would do wad u told me to do,
wait as i love u.

i juz join dance club at my school.
is cool. i learn hip-hop, cheersleading and jazz.
haha, i try to find thing to fill up my time,
so that i won't keep thinking of u.
and i had take the advise from my councellor,
i join the will group and get 1 facilitator to help me catch up my study.
i would put effort this semester to reach my target.
last semester result is really dissapointed me.

whoa, now still got the NSQ event need to worried bout.
is a stress for me. i really not a good leader.
i don't even know wad to do. i'm a passive person,
everything need to wait people to inform me than only i start to do.
haiz, afraid that i would bring down the organization this year...
there is only 30++ people join the camp....
and our target is 400!!!
now is already september.
i really worried alot.......
duno wad to do....

emo..

today i receive ur message when having class....
this is the 1st message u send me since last week u said u need sometime to clear things up....
but y i feel u act like nothing had happen between us??
u never explain y u wan to be alone suddenly for 1 week,
u never told me wad is the thing u wan to clear up,
u never told me y u doesn't feel like talk to anyone for 1 week?
wad happen??
wad is goin on?
i have been miss u for 1 week.
i juz dun understand,
y everything i do, make me think bout u.
my heart keep missing u.
i can't get u out of my mind.
but y am i gettin so emo when u sms me?
i should be happy, gracefull that u not forgettin me.
but y?
y im so emo?? feel hard to breath....
wana cry,
but there has no tears coming out..
wad im concern bout?
afraid to be hurt by u again??
afraid u will do the samething to me again?
maybe...
i doesn't spoke to mom for 2 month,
i really lost my way....
my result r damn rubbish....
my life is all messup
i can't concentrate on my study...
i can't do anything properly...

Finally

Finally, u reply my message.
i wait for this message for so long.
is just 4 days, but for me it is too long to wait the time past.
i think if i attend for the cryin competition sure i can get champion.
i have cry 4 times today.
cryin like a kid....
when i see ur message, my tears juz come out like a water tank....
im such a baby....
y i wan to make myself suffer?
stupid......
should i believe in love???
should i believe ur word toward me???
feel so hard to breath,
heart beat so fast
im scared.
i afraid of being hurt again,
afraid of being alone.
thats why i became so desperate when i can't reach u on phone.
that's why i panic,
duno what to do...
u told me tha tu didn't intend to hurt me
but y i been hurt so deeply??
should i again believe ur promise??
u told me not to lose faith in love,
but told me,
wad had u give me to let me believe in love??
i love u, so i should wait for u???
how long should i wait???
did u love me??
did u ever think of me??
did u care for me??
u need sometime to clear ur mind,
n now i know,
i need sometime to get u off my life!!!
i had enough for all this!!
u never think or care bout me!!
if i really love u then just wait for u???
than wad is the answer of after being waiting??
how could u love me if u doesn't even care for me??
u juz care for urself!!! selfishness!!!!!

Feeling bad....

Feeling really bad!!! Is been 3 day you never pick up my call or reply my sms. im so worried!! keep on asking myself what i worried about? you are not my boyfriend, we are just friend.
but when i lay on my bed the flashback start to begin. what we had been trough together, i start to realize that i had taken u as my boyfriend in my heart. that's why i so worried about u.
i had missed classes for 2 days, wake up early in the morning like losing something in my life, keep look at my phone afraid that i had missed ur call or sms, but is all dissapointed.
Cry everyday in the middle night, thinking why suddenly all thing had change, thingking isit i had been cheated,.
i had regret now, that time when u told me to keep ur clothes i reject. i should take it!! stupid!! now in my hand had nothing to do with our memory. i do listen to u, i never hurt myself this time, but is really suffer, u know when ur heart beat so fast everyday, people will die fast....
i told myself to let go, but i just can't!! i duno what am i holding on with u, but i just can't control to miss u. Damn it!! i hate myself!!!!i hate what im doing now. everyday is meaningless for me now.... @#%@$#! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, HELP ME!!!
i just can't take it anymore!! it's too much for me!!d i can't hate u, i can't do it. the love is too much. i never realise the love i give to u is so much. but please, i just hope u answer my call or reply my sms, let me know what is goin on. don't just left without a word. it make me crazy.......
this few day always sleep at 3am, i just can't sleep.
frend ask me to hang out i reject, i don't want to hang out, just want to stay home, watching my phone, hoping it will ring. how stupid am i??!
they told me im a pretty girl, there still a lot of guy wanted to take care of me, why should i keep thinking of you? i duno, i just can't help to thinking of u. i hate the feeling.
why? why u want to make me feel this bad? what had happen to u?? u would never leave me like that, u said u will always be by myside when i need u. but where r u now??